by JR Cook - 9 years ago     show comments

A new round of patch notes for Hearthstone have been posted and there are some doozies in here.

General

• The following card back has been added:
  • Classic Card Back: Remastered—We’ve re-visited the Classic Hearthstone card back and have given it a painstaking HD update. Acquire the new card back by reaching Rank 20 during the Ranked Play season.

• We’ve implemented a new card type, Ninjas, which ALWAYS beat Pirate cards!
• We’ve added a new feature called Harrison Jones’ Museum! Accessing it will allow you to gaze proudly upon all the weapons you’ve put in the museum, where they belong.
• Mistress of Pain has turned over a new leaf and is now called Mistress of Uncomfortableness.
• Crush has been renamed to Big Gross Demon Foot.
• Card packs can now be opened by blowing gently on the screen.
• Alexstrasza will no longer say anything upon being played because she’s tired of being misunderstood.
• Cogmaster no longer spits, because let’s be honest, that’s pretty gross.
• Leeroy Jenkins will now whisper his name upon being played in accordance with mandatory workplace etiquette classes.
• Sludge Belcher has taken some antacids and now feels great!
• Upon playing Unleash the Hounds, players will be taken to a menu that allows them to choose the exact breed of their hounds—with over 100 options!
• Snowchugger is now an 8/8 because it’s too cute and people are not taking it seriously enough.
• After many bouts with brain freeze, Snowchugger now eats snow at a more reasonable rate.
• Annoy-o-Tron now says “GOODBYE, GOODBYE, GOODBYE” upon being slain.
• Sorcerer’s Apprentice has graduated to Sorcerer’s Adept. All those long hours hitting the books finally paid off!
• A Lost Tallstrider has been found. If it’s yours, please visit lost and found to claim it.
• Recycle now provides the Responsible Citizen buff to Malfurion when cast.
• After sensitivity training, Ancient of Lore, Ancient of War, and Ancient Mage will now be known as Senior Citizen of Lore, Senior Citizen of War, and Harold respectively.
• Savage Roar now also turns off squelch and removes the cooldown on emotes.
• Naturalize now causes Zombie Chow and Poison Seeds to be all-natural, vegan, and gluten free.
• Hunter’s Mark has been renamed Hunter’s George.
• Mark of the Wild has been renamed George of the Wild.
• Mark of Nature has been renamed George of Nature.
  • We like George more than Mark. Mark still owes us $20.
• The spell Blizzard now causes enemy minions to attack Soon™.
• A new Hearthstone mini-series was in the works titled “Portrait: The Last Spellbender,” but everything changed when the Fireball attacked.
• To make things more convenient, Tirion Fordring will now silence himself when summoned.
• Circle of Healing has been renamed Oval of Healing upon discovery that Hearthstone boards are not circular.
• Fixed a bug with Thoughtsteal where playing it would sometimes fail to steal your opponent’s best cards.
• Two new Shaman spell cards have been added—Snap and Pop.
• Armorsmith has finally finished that chest plate she’s been working on this whole time. Whew!
• Pirates will now always beat the new Ninja sub-type, because Pirates are obviously better.
• Leper Gnome now feels better, and will be known simply as Gnome. He would however still like to receive big hugs, please.
• Several cards have completed their anger management training, have been renamed accordingly:
  • Grumbling Worgen
  • Magma Kvetcher
  • Disgruntled Chicken
  • Mildly Annoyed Scientist
  • Somewhat Perturbed Bomber
  • Slightly More Perturbed Bomber
• Azure Drake has been renamed Blue Drake because no one says “Azure” correctly.
• Blade Flurry has been renamed Blade Furry, and now equips the Rogue with a 1/5 Kitten.
• We’ve fixed a bug with Animal Companion that sometimes caused the spell to not summon Huffer.
• Snake Trap has been renamed Pug Trap and now summons 3 very excited 1/1 Pugs that wheeze very loudly.
• Playing Feign Death after playing Unleash the Hounds will now result in good dogs. Yes they are! They are such good dogs.
• Call Pet card text now reads, “Hello, this is dog.”
• Fixed an error where Skill Command was incorrectly named Kill Command. The Hunter spell will now correctly do damage based on the caster’s skill at Hearthstone.
• Anima Golem is now correctly named Animal Golem, and has been changed to a Hunter card with the following text:
  • Deathrattle: Summon a 1/1 kitten for each enemy minion. It was made of KITTENS! How could you?
• After reading so much community feedback about Wisp value, the cost of Wisps has been raised to 2 mana.

You can thank Daxxarri for the update on the official post on the Hearthstone site.